Hello again! It's been awhile since I've posted anything. Real life and busy schedules unfortunately intrude.<G> This story was written primarily during summer vacation, and Mom (that's me) needed an escape from the "fun" of having kids in the house for hours on end.<G> It never would have seen the light of day, or night for that matter, if Lisa hadn't pestered me to finish what she now calls the "tickle story".<G> So, just for you, Knightowl, here is your story. Hope it lives up to your expectations!My thanks and undying gratitude to my beta readers: Wendy, Marci, Lisa, and Sue Clark. You're a great bunch guys! Thanks for putting up with my horrible punctuation gaffes and misspellings as well as the angsting and rewrites!<G> Special thanks to Lisa for pointing a very humorous error that all the rest of us missed! You were SO RIGHT, Lisa! LOL!
Disclaimers: This story is mine. The characters of Nick Knight and Natalie Lambert do not belong to me. LaCroix doesn't either, although his part in this in minimal, to say the least.<G> Can't have Uncle intruding in on the fun, you know.<G> My apologies to TPTB for playing with their characters, but what was a desperate mother to do during summer vacation?!<EG>
Permission is granted to post/archive on Endless Knight, JADFE, and the Mortal Love Adult Story sites. Permission, if appropriate for that site, is also granted to Mel's wonderful mecca for the FK deprived, www.fkfanfic.com.
The songs quoted are as follows:
"Angel" performed by Sarah McLachlan from the "City of Angels" soundtrack.
A brief quote from the song "Fire and Ice" performed by Pat Benatar.
Also a snippet of the chorus from "If We Could Start Over" performed by Celine Dion from her "Unison" album.WARNING: THIS IS AN ADULT STORY! IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 18, SHAME ON YOU! Go Away until of legal age!<G> If you are of legal age and ADULT is not your cup of tea, delete this story now. You have been officially warned.<G>
Sexual sitations follow. I now present my madness for whatever it's worth!
Too Much, Too soon
by Texasbrat
Summer 1987, Toronto
The cold rain beat down upon the still, lifeless form of the child lying on the ground. He picked her up, cradled her in his arms, and swathed her within his protective embrace. It was a last gesture of solace for this waif he found among the ruins of the burned out building. A runaway perhaps, or a homeless child. He didn't know and didn't want to contemplate her circumstances at this moment. What good would it do her? She was dead. He combed his fingers through the softness of her raven tresses and caressed her pallid cheeks. Her perfect features were peaceful as she lay in solemn repose.
"Why?" he whispered into the still, crisp darkness. "Why always the innocent ones......" He moved slowly, lying the child upon the saturated soil, gasping from the pain of the searing burns upon his back. He eased her head gently down into the soggy turf and caressed the alabaster skin now darkening to mottled blue. Life extinguished, burned away by the raging fire this child did not escape. She was beyond any help, mortal or immortal. When he'd seen the fire raging, he flew to the scene, eager to lend a hand, to save a life rather than take one. To give back that which he'd taken over and over for so many centuries in hopes of finding that part of himself he'd lost in the Crusades. Bitterness welled up with in him.
He'd failed. Failed, yet again an opportunity to atone for his marauding bestial nature. But that shouldn't surprise him - such was the theme of his immortal purgatory. He was always left searching for that one act that 'would purge the guilt of raping the essence of a mortal soul, the life's blood infusing his eternal body with unimaginable power and vitality. He was forever the stoic observer of mortal plight, uninvited, unwanted, and feared. Damned. How could he think to regain that which he had bartered away on a night's pleasure with a beautiful temptress?
Nick stood and covered the young girl's face with the tattered remnants of his shirt. He slowly turned on his heel and walked down the bleak, littered alley in search of a pay phone. He made an anonymous call to the proper authorities and vanished into the darkness to seek the safety of his lair. The dreary, blackened sky turned to gray. Dawn approached.
In his Spartan hotel room, he removed his smoke stained clothing and headed for the shower to wash away the grime. He slumped heavily against the tiled wall of the shower stall, sighing as the cold spray of water cascaded over his charred back. He ignored the pain. The wounds would heal. They always did. He had survived yet another night.
How much longer could he sustain his ebbing desire for reclamation? How could he abate this horrible, repressive sense of guilt? He could feel the weight of his sins settle upon him, stooping his shoulders, swaying his back under their enormity. For so long now he battled against the hopelessness inside himself. He needed a distraction, some release from this tormenting wreckage of endless existence. He remembered the angelic features of the deceased child he'd left behind. He closed his eyes, saying a silent blessing for her passing. He hoped that there was a Heaven and some ethereal creature held her in comfort and lead her away from any sadness and heartache she may have endured while upon this earth.
He turned off the water and reached for a towel, vigorously rubbing at his blond wavy hair as he stepped from the cubicle. He strode passed the double bed and roughly pulled open the small refrigerator in the corner. He removed a chilled green bottle, removing the cork with his teeth. As he spat the object across the room, he abruptly turned and was about to cross to the bed until an image in his peripheral vision caused him to pause and stare. There, in the mirror upon the wall, he beheld the beast. Its eyes ablaze with the golden light of the sun, its fangs protruding as the incessant hunger beckoned for the fulfillment he held in his hand. Quickly, he whirled away from the reflected hideous monstrosity that he was, that he longed to escape. He threw himself upon the bed and closed his eyes, holding the cold bottle against his cheek. The vampire within him savored the smell of the contents as the man inside cried out his need for solace and respite of the immortal burden crushing what remained of his soul.
Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For the break that will make it OK
There's always some reason to feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction or a beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
Nick guzzled down the maroon liquid contained in the green flask, hoping his
bout of gluttony would drown the haunting memories of the lives he'd stolen. One night, just one night he wanted to feel empty of the guilt and remorse, empty of the ceaseless hunger burning in his gut. So he drank. He wanted anything that would bring him peace. He sat up to retrieve another bottle as the beast once again demanded to be fed.
In the arms of the Angel far away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you feel
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here'Does she sleep within the comforting arms of her angel,' he wondered as his thoughts once again drifted back to the dead little girl. 'What would it be like to lie in such peace with someone who would give you such love, regardless of the horror you've wrought upon the lives of others.....'
Was there such a being......such a love? Not for him, not ever for him, he mused to himself.
So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference, escape one last time
It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness
That brings me to my kneesOh, he had found love with many mortal women throughout his long existence. Some had loved him for what they thought he was - a man. They had been mesmerized by his golden beauty, his words of love, his seductions. They had offered him some temporary solace but were soon destroyed or turned away as raging lust devoured his control. Some had loved him because of what he was - a vampire. They had desired him for what he could offer them, to indulge their own selfish desires. But none had ever loved him with a depth which he craved. None had ever possessed his heart to such a degree. So, he had tried to stay away from them; deny himself any love. Inevitably, the loneliness became unbearable and he was drawn once again to their warmth and vitality, always searching for that special one, the angel, who would peer unflinchingly into his
accursed soul and love him despite the evil he'd committed in his nefarious past. In the arms of an angel.....only there could he find his absolution, his peace.In the arms of the Angel far away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you feel
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here.Nick heaved a sigh of disgust. She didn't exist and never would. He'd searched centuries and not found her. Who would love this animal that dwelled inside of him? This
uninvited killer who would murder her in the end........****************************************************************
Spring, six years later
The rain fell steadily, relentlessly beating down upon the cold ground, prodding it to revive the tender seeds sleeping beneath the nurturing soil. It was spring. A time of life. A time of renewal, mating, and birth. A joyous time for both man and beast. The budding leaves fluttered in the eddying currents of a playful evening breeze as they reached upward toward life's liquid necessity. The laggard gray clouds dawdled in the dark night sky, loathe to interrupt their leisurely pace. The night was quiet and serene for the laughing couple cuddling on the floor before a cozy fire save for soft thrumming of the raindrops against the window pane belonging to a Toronto medical examiner, Natalie Lambert.
Natalie sighed in contentment as her head lay nestled on the shoulder of her best friend/colleague, Nicholas Knight. Her body rested against his strong chest, her hands resting on his thighs that straddled around her, creating a warm nest for her to snuggle in. Nick held his treasure close against him, relishing the feel of her body against his own. His chin rubbed against the softness of her auburn curls atop her head. Seldom had he felt such peace, such contentment, in his dark, lonely world as a vampire. Rarer still was the individual whom he entrusted with his secret, one who knew of the hideous beast lurking beneath the mask of the his mortal appearance and offered him the precious gift of friendship.
Friendship. Yes, they shared that special bond, but underneath this guise of platonic friendship lay a deeper emotion waiting to blossom and come to fruition. From the first day he'd met Natalie Lambert he'd felt drawn to her. The warmth of her touch that day ignited something deep inside. Something that at the time he hadn't understood, nor wanted to acknowledge until one night he'd found the courage to admit his feelings. He wanted to delve into her subconscious and awaken the memory of that bittersweet night when he'd finally confessed what he now denied. How much longer could he pretend indifference to his heart's desire? He wanted to lay claim to the one who would absolve him and love him, the angel he'd waited centuries for - Natalie Lambert.
It had not taken long for Natalie to carve a place in his stone cold heart. He knew from the beginning of their relationship how unique she was. No woman of his acquaintance had given him so much and asked for so little, if nothing at all, in return. Quite the opposite, in fact. She extended her hand to him at every turn when his oppressive guilt set in, and she kicked him in the pants when he needed a good set down. She gave him faith when he faltered, forgave him his foolish transgressions, lectured and cajoled him out of his bouts of self-righteous arrogance. All of these she offered without hesitation or stipulation. Indeed, what a remarkable woman she was: stubborn, fearless, persistent, patient and kind. A complex, yet fascinating, package was his Natalie. One woman who filled several crucial roles in his life: his friend, his mentor, his healer, his love.
Yes, he no longer wanted to deny this sweet emotion coursing through him, this utter sense of completeness he felt when he held her close, a peace no other had ever bestowed upon his troubled heart. In her he'd found his opposite, his match. She knew his soul, had faced down his beast when he'd lost hope and vowed to return to the ways of the vampire, to never again believe in mortality. She'd brought him back from the edge.
Again his thoughts returned to the evening of Valentine's Day. That beautiful night, when finally, he'd found the courage to try. He'd kissed her, caressed her, and touched her in ways that still tormented him as the images of that night returned to haunt him in his daily slumber. His dream had been ripped away from him in matter of hours after his declaration to Nat; the possibility of loving her stolen from him as his master declared his right of vengeance. So, there had been no choice but to erase those magical memories and beautiful words he'd spoken from Nat's mind. A choice he bitterly regretted, a weary burden that threatened to crush the facade of friendship.
As each day passed, the titillation of her nearness challenged his control. It was only a matter of time before the leash snapped and the vampire emerged to inflict its esurient passions upon her. He had not fooled LaCroix. His master was fully cognizant of his fledgling's emotional state that night. He could never lie to his sire; the blood connection revealed all to LaCroix.
Oh yes, his master had fashioned the perfect revenge, watching Nick pine away for his love, waiting for his control to snap and take what was denied him, thus endangering Natalie's life. Nick admitted that he should have left her after that night, but found himself helpless to act. He clung to every last bit of hope of someday finding a cure and claiming her. How could he leave? She meant too much. He had to be close to her, if only from a distance. He had to risk her life for his own sake; he couldn't bear the isolation of his solitary existence any longer. How can reason conquer the weary heart, the battered soul? His soul and inspiration was right here, right now, embodied within this mortal woman. He would not leave her, ever. Her mortal fire ignited a blazing fire within him, warming his frigid flesh, illuminating the endless darkness, keeping the beast at bay so the man could learn to thrive once more.
And thrive he did under her tutelage, her reminders, and her stonewalling. She stopped him dead in his tracks. Everywhere he turned now, he was reminded of something she did or said. She filled his every waking moment as his need for her grew, a need that would someday sweep away his reason and force a consummation.
That was his greatest fear. One he could not even contemplate now but only when the event actually happened. Only then could Nick choose his path. Would the vampire take her? Possibly. Inevitably, for it was the only way he could ever truly "love" Natalie with the intensity he craved.
Bring her over? No, not that. Ever. Separation from his mortal love, in what ever form, would satisfy the terms of vengeance set down centuries ago. LaCroix had been right in that respect, his heart had never ached with such pain. Until now. Nick did indeed ache for Natalie, burned for her in such a way that he knew the pain of separation would facilitate his own demise. Regardless, even this threat would not move him from her side.
Nick pulled Natalie closer to his body, caressed the softness of her cheek, letting his fingers trail down the side of her neck under her chin. Natalie giggled at the tickling sensation he unintentionally evoked. "Ticklish are we?" teased Nick.
"I'll never tell!" Nat laughingly replied, smiling impishly as she turned her face back toward the fire, enjoying this care-free side of Nick that he rarely displayed. She settled more comfortably against him and sighed in contentment, enjoying this special moment with Nick. Of late, he'd been taciturn, suffering through an unusual stint of morose introspection and refusing to discuss its cause. Natalie suspected it might have something to do with her, possibly even their night together; a night of which she had no clear memory. Flashes of emotion, of spoken word, even moments of danger tinged with a dark sensuality arose in her conscious mind without warning. Thoughts that plagued her to the point of making her want to scream in frustration.
'We had a good time,' he'd said. A good time. Now what did he mean? Did she make a fool of herself and try to seduce him while she was drunk? Was he acting the gentleman, refusing to tell her the truth to protect her 'honor'? Natalie wouldn't put it past him. Nick had managed to preserve his courtly manners over the centuries; a deeply ingrained behavior that LaCroix may have admired in Nick. A behavior that could easily lure and seduce the susceptible woman, a quality that Natalie herself fell prey to. An affect that made Natalie leery of informing her friend just how attractive she found him. She didn't want that particular complication to get in the way of what they were working toward - his reclamation of his mortality. Natalie did wonder, though, about Nick's changing feelings toward her. What was it he was really after? Did he, himself, even know?
After that horrible incident with Roger Jameson, Nat began to notice subtle changes in their relationship. Their friendship had taken on a closer intimacy, a protectiveness that she found enchanting and endearing. Yet, he still put up fences to keep her from trespassing into the darker areas of his life. They remained at the brink of something deeper. Neither yet ready to tear down that comfortable fence, only content to reach across. There was more to be dealt with concerning Nick - his indiscriminate affairs with women. In particular, the incidents with Emily Weiss and Alyce Hunter.
That was a painful subject that Natalie did NOT want to dwell on. 'Suffice it to say that they served a purpose for Nick,' Natalie surmised with perfect, practical logic. A purpose she hoped Nick realized was futile in the end. They had been empty romances. Women foolishly let into his life to fill the his aching loneliness and need for someone to "understand" him and his struggle. 'Women who felt sorry for him more like it,' thought Nat crossly. Understanding. Now that was something that Nick often accused her of not having. Why? Because she didn't happen to agree with his opinion and judged his behavior according to her own experiences and not his? 'Men,' she thought, 'Or maybe it is just male vampires.' Stubborn, arrogant, high-handed... the list was endless. 'He couldn't see the right woman if she...' Natalie fumed but stopped as her thoughts took a dangerous turn, threatening to uncover some deeper emotion buried with in her. Natalie shook her head and continued her musings. She couldn't blame Nick, though. These women seemed to offer him some promise, some relief from the internal battle he struggled with night after eternal night. In the end, though, they'd used Nick for the same reason. They, too, were seeking some fulfillment in him. Maybe it was the excitement of what he was.
Alyce Hunter had known what he was, even shared his great love of archeology and history. She was a studious, dedicated woman working at night, living in the past rather the present, lonely just like Emily Weiss.
Emily Weiss, the acclaimed author of vampire lore and romance. 'Now, there'd been woman Nick fell for in a hurry,' thought Nat. 'She REALLY understood him, or so he said.' She too worked at night, living life through her writing and her novels. Again, though, as the vampire revealed itself, Nick backed away from a relationship, realizing that the vampiric state was not the quality he wanted to be loved for. Strange how he seems to always run away when a woman he purports to "love" wants him to share his dark gift with them. Stranger still was the pattern that was emerging this past year: lonely women living their lives through their occupation, working at night, enthralled by the vampire... Natalie slammed the brakes on her wayward thoughts. Again, she didn't like the direction they were going, nor did she like the wariness she always felt when Nick displayed a more serious emotion toward her. In the back of her mind lay some repressed sense of betrayal. She couldn't explain this feeling but it always made her question his motives, his true feelings. To be honest, she was afraid of what he truly wanted from her.
Did he really want a deeper, more intimate relationship, or was she being set up for a fall? Was she being used in some manner and was she too, to suffer the same fate as Emily Weiss and Alyce Hunter? It was something that she just didn't want to attempt right now. Too much was at risk, and not just their search for a cure. Natalie wasn't naive enough to believe that her emotions were purely altruistic. Just the opposite, as a matter of fact; but the danger to her heart was too great. She knew what havoc Nicholas Knight could wreak upon her life if she let him get too close. Was it worth the gamble in the end? Natalie's musings were interrupted as she was suddenly seized in a firm grip.
"Me thinks the lady has gone too quiet. Contemplating a new torture for me, are you?" asked Nick with a hint of invitation in his voice.
"And if I were?" challenged Nat.
"Then, fair doctor, I must use my cunning and conniving ways to lure you to your defeat."
"Just try me, bub!" came Natalie's cheeky reply.
" I do believe a gauntlet has been thrown down at my feet," claimed Nick with an devilish gleam in his eyes. "You would provoke the king's knight? Yea, milady, tread carefully. Thou dost not know what thou bid me do. I cannot ignore a challenge. T'would bring dishonor upon the name of de Brabant!"
"What's the matter? Poor widdle ego can't stand a bit of mud slopped on it?" grinned Nat with impish glee.
"You would test my mettle on the field of battle?"
"I'd love a chance to wipe that smug....." Natalie was not allowed to finish as she felt her nemesis close his body about her own.
"I accept your challenge! We begin now!" replied her opponent.
Natalie cocked her head to the side and cautiously replied, "Now, wait a minute. I never..." She was not even allowed to finish before he began his offensive. Nick was merciless as his tickling onslaught began. He tweaked her beneath her ribs causing her to squeal loudly, but the siege was only starting. Nick maintained a constant barrage until his captive lay breathless and fatigued in his arms.
"Stop, Nick....." Natalie pleaded.
"Why?" he condescended to ask, assured of his victory.
"I'm willing to bargain with you...."
"No negotiating."
"But..."
"Surrender!" demanded Nick with mock gruffness that suddenly turned to a slight whimper as he felt a stabbing pain in his groin as his imprisoned minx raised up and slammed her delectable derriere into the "family jewels".
"Okay," squeaked Nick, "we'll talk." Suddenly the pain subsided and a wicked smile crossed his lips as he contemplated terms of truce. "It'll cost you."
"What and how much?" she ventured.
"How about no protein shakes for a week? After that last concoction you made me drink......" Nick grimaced at the memory of the vile taste of her last recipe.
"Hey!" replied the affronted doctor, "I worked for days balancing out the ingredients to that last batch! No deal!"
"Okay then, if I have to drink that stuff, I demand recompense for my pain and suffering. You have to give up ice cream for the duration I suffer through this current supply."
"Now wait a minute, here. You're negotiating with things that are 'medicinal'. Not at all in your jurisdiction nor area of expertise, detective." spluttered Nat, "Who is the doctor and who is the patient? Hmmm? I give the orders in that department, fella. YOU follow them!" Natalie turned in his arms to jab a finger into his chest to emphasize her point. She tilted her head up to peer at his reaction, smiling with smug satisfaction.
Nick captured her hand. "Might I remind you, my dear doctor, who is the captor here and who the prisoner? Be careful whom you poke with that finger. I still hold you with no chance of escape." To prove his point, he pulled her more snugly against his chest and held her so tightly that she could not move at all. "Need I prove my point further? Yield or be vanquished." replied Nick, with an arrogant leer.
"Vanquished? Me? And just how, pray tell, will you do that?" Nat challenged further, knowing she invited more aggravation. "Because I ain't 'yielding' "
"Then suffer the consequences of your folly...." cackled the conquering scoundrel as he began his prisoner's subjugation. Nick was relentless. He attacked her beneath her shoulders and her ribs. Natalie squirmed about in his arms attempting to block his every move, but he was just too quick. His hands unerringly found every vulnerable place left undefended. Natalie yelped repeatedly as Nick adroit tactics skillfully undermined his prisoner's defensive measures.
At last, a weakness was found, a vulnerable area exposed. The light of victory shone in Nick's eyes as he homed in on her Achilles Heel. With an ancient skill of a warrior, Nick toyed with his attractive nemesis, distracting her from his intended target by forcing her to defend exposed areas higher up. He waited patiently, easily maneuvering her into position. Then he struck swiftly and mercilessly. He captured Natalie's body, lightly squeezing her hips with his thighs, entrapping his quarry. He drove home his last parrying thrust; he pinched her on either side of the slight swell of her abdomen.
Natalie went wild, arching violently backward as she screamed in delighted agitation. She squirmed about vigorously, fighting to escape his wily grasp, refusing defeat. She was NOT giving up her ice cream and she was NOT going to deal with a cocky vampire.
"Yield, tiresome wench!" demanded her handsome rogue as his marauding fingers momentarily gave respite to the siege.
"Never!" she shouted in defiance and squealed yet again as Nick pulled her shirt free from the waist band of her sweat pants and renewed his incursions but this time upon her bare skin.
"Yield, and I shall be merciful," he reiterated as he barely struggled to contain his mischievous vixen.
Natalie knew she could not hold out against her nefarious foe without the protection of cloth to dull the delicious teasing of her flesh. Valiantly, she tried to quell her body's response to the overwhelming sensations and failed. She needed to break free if she was to even have a chance at victory. Her timing had to be perfect. The element of surprise was her only weapon against him to escape his clutches. Suddenly she went limp in his arms. Immediately he ceased his attack. When she continued to remain still, she heard his triumphant laugh as it resonated deep in his chest. She waited patiently for her chance.
"I see that you now realize the futility of your situation," he gloated. "I always knew you were an intelligent woman, Natalie. Now, I will claim the forfeit you must pay for daring to challenge me," he chuckled as he reached and grasped her chin in his hand, forcing her head around to meet his descending mouth.
"I'll be damned if I'll let you win, Nick," defied Natalie, as her hooded gaze met the sparkling playfulness of his.
"Try me, Nat. You won't win," he proclaimed with a self-satisfied grin. Nick rested the palm of his left hand above the elastic waistband of Nat's sweatpants as his right hand recaptured her chin.
Natalie realized that now was her chance to escape. She could just couldn't let this cocky vampire have the last laugh, so to speak. With eyes full open, Nat watched Nick's head lower toward her own, his eyes closed. 'NOW!' screamed her instincts. Immediately Natalie gripped his thighs, braced her feet against the floor, and launched her body upward. Her tactic - to throw off his hands. The result - chaos.
As Nick's lips arced downwards to touch the softness of hers, he felt Natalie suddenly tense and lift away from his body. Caught off guard by her conniving tactic, Nick shifted his hands and grabbed at the whatever or wherever he could to prevent his quarry from escaping. She wriggled and fought and kicked at him with all her might, albeit with some care as to not injure him.
"Oh no you don't, milady," said Nick as Natalie managed to squirm out of his embrace altogether. As she scurried away on hands and knees, he too pursued in a like manner and made a grab for her.
Natalie knew it was over as his arm encircled her waist and she felt her body being reeled in, but she wasn't 'vanquished' just yet. She still had just a bit of fight left in her. She turned and glared at Nick as he smiled patiently back.
Nick secured his run away easily with one hand as he hauled her back into his lap, her back against his chest.
"I warned you," he reminded her. "Now, be good and pay up." He laughed as Nat stuck her tongue out at him like a willful child. "I think I'm going to enjoy taming you, you little shrew," snickered Nick.
"Shrew? Shrew? Who are you calling a 'shrew'?" shrieked an outraged coroner.
"You," he replied simply, smiling with wicked delight as he watched her face suffuse with anger. Oh, how he loved to watch the fireworks go off when he piqued her ego. She was always quick to rebuke him and he was always quick to rebut. This playful banter was a rare pleasure for him; and only with Natalie did he ever truly find it uplifting and enjoyable.
Natalie watched that smart aleck grin form on his lips and gritted her teeth. 'Damn cocky vampire,' she thought again. 'He'll be smiling like a Cheshire cat all week if I let him win now. Fat chance, Nick!'
"You say something, princess?" mocked Nick.
Natalie gasped as she realized that she had uttered her last thought. That did it.
"Come on, Nat. What's one little kiss gonna cost you? I won, pay up."
"You cheated! You're stronger than..."
"Let's not debate the issue, I won and you lost," declared Nick as he interrupted her impending tirade. He just wanted to steal one kiss. Wouldn't she give him that? As he looked at her affronted demeanor, he knew he'd raised her ire past the point she would concede. The woman was not going to be silent. Time to hush this female the only way a man could. Without further argument, Nick once again secured Nat against him and turned her head firmly up to his own.
"Time to pay up, darlin'," he drawled softly as he heard Nat splutter at his high-handed tactics. He pulled her upward to meet his kiss as he closed his eyes in anticipation of tasting her sweetness, a welcome reminder of that night several weeks ago. He knew her mouth was only inches from his. He inhaled sharply and basked in the fragrance of her hair, the light perfume upon her skin. Only an inch now, so deliciously close. 'Soon, soon,' keened his senses. Yes, soon her softness would slide against his lips, that sweet taste of peppermint would linger upon his tongue after he licked across her own when he breached the barriers of her lips and penetrated into the moistness of her mouth for but a brief moment. The images and sensations from Valentines' Eve assailed him and stormed his defenses and he became lost in time.
Nick sighed with contentment as at last her warmth touched him. It was all he remembered, all he had desired it to be. As their lips touched, he heard first the small exclamation of surprise followed by her tenuous response of her mouth. His hands began to move upon her, gliding over every curve of her stomach and hip.
He deepened the kiss. She accepted without qualm as if she, too, were remembering that night he'd wiped from her memory. For long moments he held her thus, caressing and loving her gently until finally she began to pull away.
"Not yet, Nat. I'm not finished," demanded Nick pulling her more firmly against him.
"Nick..." protested Nat only to be silenced again by his lips which grew hungrier, demanding a more urgent response from her. Natalie clutched at Nick's clothing, desperately trying to stave off the rising tide of desire he was evoking. The game was no longer a game.
Nick became lost in his memories, desperate to recapture, if only for a moment, what had been ripped from him. His hands grew bolder as he pulled the tails of her shirt up while his lips continued to seduce her into submission, to mold her body against his own, to tempt it follow him into the fires of the passion rising between them. He needed to feel her skin against him. One arm encircled her waist and lifted her up from his lap while the other slid her pants over her buttocks.
Natalie broke off the kiss as she felt herself being lifted and her clothing being removed. She gasped at his brash and brazen behavior. She felt his hands slide lower, and ever lower. She watched as his hand slid her pants to her knees before she realized that she had not put on her undergarments that night, a foolish oversight really. She had taken a quick shower after working through the day and rushed to dress when Nick yelled through the door from the hall.
Nick's eyes grew wide and lustrous as he gazed upon her curls hiding what he wanted. He blinked slowly, like a man caught in a drunken stupor as his sluggish hand followed the direction of his intoxicated mind.
Natalie, herself, could not find the strength to move as she watched his actions. Her breathing was heavy, laboring, increasing in rate. How could she stop him? Finally, his hand found her and her strained effort for breath ceased as all air was impeded by the constriction she felt in her throat. He wouldn't touch her there. Their relationship wasn't like that. He couldn't.....he'd never.....but he did. Oh, how he did. Everywhere, anywhere.
He'd waited so long. He could no longer stem the tide of longing. His desire was so incredibly overwhelming that he, now, had no rational thought, only the sensation of the springy curls and the moistness of her flowing onto his hands.
"Oh God!" cried Nat as the impossible happened. Now, released from her own dazed state by the frenzy of sensation washing into her groin, Natalie frantically grabbed for his hands and stilled their intimate exploration.
A nervous silence reverberated about the room. Naught could be heard save the sound of the pelting rain against the window panes and the labored breathing of the two occupants before the fire. Nat slowly lowered her body back to the floor as she realized she had held her lower body suspended in the air.
Nick remained in his stupor, retaining his hold on her. He was like a man living inside his own world of sensation and emotion. She felt his motionless fingers slide against her wiry curls covering her femininitiy as she made her descent into his stilted embrace. She was exposed, vulnerable to the titillation of his hands. Natalie's cheeks flamed crimson.
"Nick..." She said his name like a plea, a plea for sanity to be restored but it fell on deaf ears as the man who held her began to caress her once more.
From a distance, a fog, he had heard her entreaty, yet did not have the ability to comply. He couldn't stop. He didn't want to stop.
"Don't ask me to stop. Please don't ask me to stop," he begged. "I need this. I need YOU, Natalie."
So long, he had fantasized of a moment such as this and feared its arrival, but now, he no longer cared. His reason fled as his senses became intoxicated on the feel of her under his hands. The man within yearned to penetrate her and bring her to ecstasy while his bestial counterpart yearned to taste the sweetness of her blood.
The absolution and the fulfillment for his dark soul lay against him, vulnerable and defenseless; and he wanted her. He would have her. Now. Nick slid his fingers along the outer lips of her labia, his fingers luxuriating the feel of the crop of curls hiding the moist core beneath. His fingertips probed further into her folds finding the hood of her clitoris. He smiled as he felt her body surge upwards as he rubbed against the tender swollen nub. She was beautiful. She was all heaven and earth could offer and more. The velvety soft warmth of her mesmerized him. He'd never imagined her to be so supple, so sensitive, so responsive. She was wet already, whether she realized it or not. The scent of her arousal filled his nostrils and awakened the passion he no longer struggled to quash. The leash he held on the beast now stretched to its limit, taught and ready to snap.
She whimpered once as Nick continued to seduce her senses, but he could yet feel the stiffness in her body as her conscience plagued her. Nick could hear her racing heart and her rapid breathing as rational thought fought the carnal instinct.
Suddenly, Natalie attempted to bolt to save her last shred of composure but Nick quickly thwarted her escape as he locked her body between his strong thighs and subdued her easily. His free hand encircled her and pulled her back gently to rest against him. "Natalie.....stay. Please," came his husky plea as he nuzzled the locks of her auburn hair near her ear.
Nick could not suppress the rush of longing raging within him. The feel of her warm body against his own was far too enticing. He could feel his mouth water as the vampire within scented the delectable prey. The tide of dark desire began to rise. Nick let it flow freely until it filled him. So many times he had forced himself to walk away from her, from the turmoil her nearness evoked. But not this time.....not this time. The vampire would first slake his thirst and then the man would be left to take his pleasure with her.
Natalie's chest heaved, her breathing heavy as indecision warred with the temptation of yielding to his touch. Natalie tossed her head around to look at him, seeking his gaze to attempt to rationalize this situation with him. But before she could utter one word of logic, Nick began to move his fingers along the folds hidden beneath the patch of curls between her thighs. He ran his fingers ever so lightly along the soft ridges of her labia, teasing her core, promising erotic fulfillment, bidding them to part and allow him entrance into its moist interior. Natalie pushed back against him, trying to escape the exquisite torture of his hands, but Nick held her fast.
"Nick......don't......we shouldn't....." she implored him. His only response was to part the hair covering the nape of her neck, enflaming the delectable flesh beneath with the tender caress of his lips. A seductive invitation was being issued. Would she relent to the quivering pleasure his touch wove upon her skin and accept? 'Come into the garden of temptation and partake of the forbidden sweetness within,' it beckoned. A delicious quiver of wicked delight raced through her prone body as Nick continued to stoke the embers of desire by stroking her ever more intimately. One finger slipped between her folds gaining partial entrance into her. He circled his finger in a hasteless motion, gradually delving deeper.
Natalie cried out as the wonderful sensations bombarded her deep within. Her head lolled backward against his shoulder, forcing Nick to divert his tormenting mouth toward the side of her neck. He gently nudged her head aside to allow his lips to continue their erotic journey toward the pulsing vessel at the base of her throat. Upon arriving, he suckled the sweetness of her skin, savoring the aroma of her perfume as it mingled with the musk scent of her wet sex. Natalie whimpered as she experienced the heady pleasure of the friction of his thrusting finger inside her.
Encouraged by her response, Nick slipped a second finger into her and gently spread the delicate membranes in a scissors motion, rhythmically flexing and retracting, striving to fan the flames of desire deep within her. He wanted to drive her mad with longing. He wanted her to crave him, beg for his possession of her body. "Oh, Natalie, let me give you this......I want you," Nick entreated, his voice raw with emotion. "Let me love you just a little. I want to lose myself in you....."
Echoes of a forgotten memory danced in ridiculing glee through her mind, echoes of Nick declaring to his master that he "did not love this woman", that it would be to his advantage to keep her in his thrall to further his ambition to regain mortality. The faces of Emily Weiss and Alyce Hunter joined the fray of haunting images. Doubt raced through Natalie's mind as the phantoms taunted her. She didn't want to be like them. She didn't want to be just a tryst to assuage the ache of wanting to be human and feel human. But, she could not stop the wave of desire surging up within. As much as these fears plagued her, Natalie could not deny Nick's power to arouse such passion, nor his ability to sway her determination. She fought for sanity but could not swim against the strong undertow of desire, but she had to try.
Suddenly, Natalie slammed her thighs together to trap his hand and silence its promise of ecstasy. "Nick, don't......" Natalie gulped as she struggled to breathe. She lay limp against him, helpless to stop him should he refuse. She trembled with the force of battle waging inside.
"This isn't a game. Don't use me...." she whispered as maligning fear of his true intentions inundated her mind to battle her desire. "I can't.....let me go.....please."
Nick could feel Natalie distancing her emotions from him, shutting him out. He witnessed it in the way she turned her face away from his gaze and in her flaming cheeks as her embarrassment of her actions ingrained itself upon her conscience. He leaned his forehead against the crown of her head and whispered, "Don't turn me away, Nat." Natalie trembled in confusion, caught between her desire for him and her apprehension. She turned back to face him, desperate to find the answers in the gentleness of his expression. Tears formed and fell down her cheeks. Nick reached up and brushed them away. "Trust me, Nat, let me pleasure you tonight." His cool hand caressed the warmth of her face and then cupped her chin to draw her lips to his. He parted her lips with his tongue and plunged into her mouth's sweet recesses as his hand entangled in her hair and pressed her head upward to increase the pressure of his kiss. He sought to drive the fears from her mind.
His other hand remained trapped between Natalie's thighs but his fingers had not been rendered motionless. As his tongue plundered her mouth, his snared hand sought to rekindle her fire. She had not managed to quell her passion despite her protests, as evidenced by the sweet juices slathering his hand. He wasn't about to lose her. Not now, when they were so close to crossing over into a new realm, a new heaven. He'd finally found his angel. He wanted to pleasure her, give her what little he could tonight to show her how much she affected him. Just a little bit, he wanted to have just a taste of her to warm his cold body.
Natalie's body yielded to his skilled movements. Her hips rocked against the firm thrusting of his fingers inside her. Knowing that his touch excited her passion and elicited such sweet mewling sounds gave him intense pleasure. "Natalie, open for me," he coaxed as he tore his lips from her own, "Let me touch you." Nick curled his fingers slightly and pushed deeper into her folds gaining the upper hand in his seduction. As he rested his fingers against the small mound concealing the pleasure trigger to fire her passion, he exerted a firm upward pressure inside her creating a delicious tingling friction just inside her wet sex.
Rational thought slipped away as Natalie drowned in the sea of ecstasy. She closed her eyes and grimaced with the agonizing pleasure Nick inflicted within her. "Natalie, open for me," he asked once again. Helpless to deny any request he made of her, Natalie acquiesced to him and spread her thighs wide to receive his ministrations. Nick eagerly penetrated her. He withdrew his fingers and teased the sensitive edges of her labia, tracing the rim of their swollen lips. Then, dipping deep within her hot core, Nick drew forth her sweet, copious fluids to bathe the center of Natalie's desire. He gently rubbed the hidden nub starting with a slow circular rhythm to gradually build the tension within her womb, preparing it for his own possession of her body when she was ready to accept him.
"Oh God, Nick," cried Natalie as erotic rapture swept away the last bit of reason and logic. Natalie clutched at Nick's thighs as her pelvis ground against his tormenting hand resting between her thighs..
"Let go, Nat...." encouraged Nick, glorying in his potency as her lover. "Let me bring you to that wonderful climax....." Nick tore Natalie's shirt open with his free hand and seized the fullness of her breast. Gently he squeezed, kneading her softness, traveling upward toward the dusky peaks.
Natalie thrashed against him in sensual torment as Nick thrust his fingers in earnest within her. She began to burn with a wanton desire. Her belly ached deep down as her womb pulled erect and her vagina encumbered the withdrawal of his probing fingers. Nick pushed deeper still, bearing down harder and harder with each quickening stroke. Nick could no longer contain his own dark passions. A feral growl escaped. The vampire rose up and demanded he surrender her to its possession. Nick found his control slipping as the vampire raged within him, its iniquitous intrusion unwelcome.
"No.........NO!" he gasped as he struggled against the rising blood lust. "Not yet.....oh please, not yet!" he implored the beast as its demands grew more insistent. Nick involuntarily clamped his mouth onto Natalie's neck as his fangs descended. He suckled and nibbled at her neck, allowing the vampire to taste her arousal, to smell the scent of her desire. Nick grunted as he fought against the tide of lust and shuddered as the pernicious cravings usurped his last bit of control.
Natalie cried out as she felt the partial penetration of his fangs into her flesh. She shivered in delight as Nick licked at the injured area. He heard her pleas to him to give her release. He plunged yet again into her hot core with his fingers. Natalie gasped and moaned in desperate longing. She felt her body spiraling upward, reaching for heaven. A fine sheen of perspiration broke upon her body as her lungs labored to pull in air. She was ready, she needed that sweet death one found in the ecstasy of climax. She grabbed his penetrating hand with both of her own, forcing him to quicken the pace and increase the intensity of his strokes. Her body moved with a primal instinct as her hips ground against his hand.
Nick released Natalie's neck and seized her mouth, smothering her cries of rapture as he felt the walls of her vagina pulse softly about his fingers. Her hips slowed their rhythm to match the waves of orgasm washing through her body. Nick released her mouth as he felt the passing of her climax. He ripped open his shirt and flipped her onto her back to lay her upon the floor. Immediately, he imprisoned her beneath him. Impatiently, he drew her hands to his chest and gloried in the heat of her satiated body.
Natalie lay recumbent, her strength drained in the wake of her explosive climax. She closed her eyes enjoying the languid feeling that spread throughout her body. Her breathing slowly returned to normal. She sighed in replete contentment until she felt the iron grip seize her wrists. Natalie's eyes flew open as she gasped in surprise; for, before her, was the vampire with its flashing golden eyes. They gleamed with a feral light, a licentious hunger born of Nick's lust. Nat could not speak nor look away from the magnificence of its dark sensuality. The intensity of its gaze was hypnotic. He was so beautiful. His hair was tousled, his chest heaving with excitement.
Natalie clutched the edges of Nick's shirt as he pushed her flat against the floor and moved upon her more fully. He pressed his full length against her as his mouth returned to the shallow punctures on her throat. It was only at this moment that she realized Nick intended to make love to her completely, the only way a vampire could, through the penetration of its deadly fangs.
But who was in control? Was it Nick making love to her or was it the vampire come to prey upon her mortal passions? How lost was he in the blood lust? Nat trembled in fear as she felt his fangs scrape against her throat and tiny rivulets of blood welled and slowly trickled from the superficial wounds. Then, in that heart stopping moment, Natalie knew what the beast craved, what would assuage its carnal needs, a blood mating . "Touch me, Nat," Nick muttered, his mouth caressing her flesh.
"Nick, please! Slow down!" she cried, hearing his growl of pleasure as he lapped up the sanguine nectar flowing down her neck. "Nick!" she called again, but he paid no heed to her pleas so lost was he in devouring the ecstasy of her climax he tasted in her blood. Natalie began clawing at his chest with her long nails as her desperation grew. His only response was to grab her wrists and pin them against his chest. She lay rigid beneath him.
"Nick, let me up," Natalie implored once more. "This is all happening too fast!"
Nick tore himself from his pleasure to answer in a guttural tone, "NO! I want you!" His mouth swooped down and captured her own in a fierce kiss.
'Selfish pig,' thought Natalie as she displayed her own temper by clamping her lips together and pushed against him. She wasn't going to just lay on her back for him. By God, he was going to earn this! She was determined to show him her displeasure in some form. What she hadn't taken into account though was his strength and his tenacity. She continued to make the situation difficult for him until her strength faltered against his invincible onslaught.
As he subdued her struggles, Nick parted her lips and forced her to accept the entry of his tongue into her mouth. Annoyed by this victory, Nat bit down on him hard, drawing forth his own blood. Nick shuddered as if the act brought forth a small frisson of pleasure. 'Well, I guess that's lesson one for me,' thought Natalie as Nick grunted with satisfaction and drove his tongue deeper into her mouth, 'I just found out one way to turn on a vampire.'
Tears of frustration streamed down Natalie's cheeks as she surrendered her body to his superior strength. She had not wanted it to happen like this with Nick, so precipitously. She wasn't sure of his feelings for her yet. She was afraid of the consequences. Afraid and unsure as well. She didn't even know what to expect. Was she just caught up in another one of Nick's stupid "passion plays"? Natalie was reminded of those lines from the song:
"Movin' in for the kill tonight
You've got every advantage when the put out the lights
It's not so pretty when it fades away
'Cause it's just an illusion in this passion play
I've seen ya burn 'em before!"Damn him! She didn't even know what to do, how to pleasure a vampire or what it needed to reach its climax. She was about to get a crash course. Finally, Natalie could no longer think. The sensuality she kept buried deep inside flamed and consumed logic and reason. The primal knowledge of the flesh came alive and demanded her surrender to her lover, spurring her on to spread herself open and tempt him join his flesh to her own.
Nick continued to plunder her mouth until he felt her body relax against him. At last, he felt her submit to him. Now, he would extract from her the pleasure long denied himself. He was at leisure to explore her body with his hands, to taste every luscious curve of her. He trailed kisses along the curve of her throat up to her cheeks, breathing in her intoxicating scent, tasting the sweetness of her skin. He released a long sigh of satisfaction as his tongue traced the outline of her jaw.
"You feel so good beneath me, Nat. I've wanted you for so long, too long. Tonight I will have what I've denied myself! I'll make you feel so wanted. I am going to make you surrender everything to me," he promised in a muffled voice against her skin. "I want to show you all that I am. Let me ease your loneliness as you've eased mine." He licked upward and unexpectedly tasted a salty wetness on her cheeks. He reached upward only to caress and to soothe her quivering body.
Natalie trembled as she saw the way his golden eyes glittered with the hedonistic gratification from savoring the taste of her passion. Not one word of love or tenderness had he uttered. Only words of lust and desire. She had wanted more from this. She needed more from this. Shame filled her. She was just like them, Alyce Hunter and Emily Weiss. This meant nothing. This WAS nothing, an act of a rutting boar. The tears began to fall and She turned her face away and buried it into the hollow of Nick's shoulder as the portent of the violent passion inside Nick threatened to consume him. She had to calm him before things slipped away into insanity and carnal gratification. She had to salvage this, give it some meaning, for Natalie did not want him to regret this coupling. She did not want to be yet another burden to lay upon his heavy pile of guilt.
'Why tonight? Why like this?' she asked the fates. She felt bitter regret well up within her and lamented the loss of their friendship; for after tonight, they could never go back to what they had before. She wished she could take this day back and start again.
"Nick, wait. Slow down," she beseeched, raising her eyes to meet the predatory gaze that now studied the rapid pulse beating at her throat. For a moment, the vampire tightened his grip and pulled her upward toward its menacing fangs. Natalie gasped as desperation now urged her on, "NICK, DON'T!"
This was it. She had no strength to fend him off. She had to think fast. If he would not hear her she must be ready for whatever outcome. As his snarling fangs descended, Natalie quickly turned her head and intercepted his descent and captured his mouth with her own, hurriedly parting his lips in a sensuous kiss. He responded immediately, thrilling to her touch, glorying in her desire to please him. Nat continued her lingual supplication, boldly attempting to fend off the strong thrust of his own tongue into her mouth. She pulled his lower lip between the softness of her own and suckled slowly, patiently, coaxing him to relent. Finally, she felt him relax and enjoy the sensations of her mouth against his own. Tentatively, she tried to pull her hands free and succeeded. With cautious movements she slid her hands up the firmness of his chest, past his throat and into his hair. Slowly, she combed her fingers through the curls that gathered around his temple. Eagerly he leaned into her caressing fingers. The vampire yielded to the soft intimacy, in ecstasy over this simple gesture, like a cat reveling in the stroking hand of its master.
Natalie tugged slightly and he came down to her willingly. As he buried his lips in the hollow of her throat she once again pleaded, "Please Nick. Don't take this any further. We need to talk. We need to....."
Suddenly Nick's had shot up. "Don't ask that of me, Natalie. Please. Not now. Not tonight. I've wanted you so long that I..." But as he searched her eyes, he saw her sadness. He saw what she needed - gentleness, tenderness. Not this raging lust that was consuming him. He felt so ashamed. He grabbed her hands and held them lightly against his chest, using her warmth as a guide back to sanity.
Natalie watched silently, intently, as he struggled to gain control. She heard his ragged breathing as his body shuddered against the battle raging within. Yet, she still was uncertain of his ability to defeat his passion. It had taken time to calm him down. She knew that she needed to escape, to put a distance between them in hopes that it help him regain his control. She felt his grip on her wrists slacken and realized that now was the time to take advantage of his distraction and escape. She jerked her hands free and twisted violently away from him, knocking him off sideways onto the floor. She rolled over onto her knees, but before she could lever herself up, she once again found herself pinned to the floor as Nick tackled her.
"Natalie! Don't run from me." cautioned Nick. "I can't bear it, please!" Nick pleaded as he labored to breathe, rapidly gulping in air to cleanse his chaotic senses of the turmoil evoked by the warmth and scent of the woman beneath him.
Nick closed his eyes against the sadness he'd seen in her gaze as she had looked back up from under him. He shook his head viciously to drive away delicious, warm fulfillment the tasting of her blood had brought him. It had driven him almost past the point of return, past the point of heeding the doubt he'd tasted in Nat's blood. Dammit, he hadn't cared! He'd wanted her too badly and rushed her in hope he could make her forget her reticence and doubt. When would he ever control his wild impulsiveness? He'd been a fool lost in his own desire. His actions were not one of a lover but that of inept clod. He let his excitement get the better of him and the vampire emerged prematurely, hungering for her...frightening her.
"Natalie.... Let me show you how I feel, what I've been wanting to....Let me explain what I..." Nick faltered as the words stumbled and faltered. What could he say? He'd made such a mess of it once again.
"Let me up, Nick. This has gone far enough. No more!" demanded Nat.
"Natalie, hear me out......please." Nick reached down and pulled strands of hair away from Nat's face so he could gauge her reaction.
"Nick, if I mean anything to you, you will let me go right now," Nick silently complied in an attempt to appease her displeasure.
Natalie scrambled away from him, needing to put some distance between them. As she stood, she hastily pulled up the sweat pants entangling her ankles. But as she began to retreat from Nick, she felt him follow her. Why wouldn't he listen?!
She needed a distraction to keep him away so she ran for the stereo and smacked the power switch. The music blared at full volume through the floor speakers. Natalie covered her ears and stumbled to the far side of the room. She huddled in the corner and pressed her cheek against the cool glass pane of the window, her breathing agitated.
As Natalie scurried away from him, Nick quickly moved to pursue her, to make her understand, to tell her that he loved her more than his own life. But before he could take more than a few steps in her direction, he was forced to retreat a few steps as the loud music bombarded his sensitive hearing. He quickly covered his ears to try to block the melodic barrage as he headed to the source of his torment. The instant he reached the CD player he viciously smacked at the controls. The turntable whirled about wildly until it finally righted itself and continued to play the program. Nick turned down the volume but allowed this new song to play. Its chorus proclaiming his one hope:If we could start over again
I know if we try our love could be stronger
If we could start over again
I'm sure....
We'd never have to let go"Let go...?" The words caught Nick's attention as he watched Nat flee across to the far side of the room. "Start over...?" Yes, that was what they needed to do. Start over. It was the only choice he could make. He only needed to convince Nat.
Nick slowly approached Natalie as she huddled in the corner. She did not turn to look at him but stared sightlessly out the window.
"Natalie....." he entreated, but she did not respond. Nick came closer and put a comforting hand upon her shoulder.
She shrugged him off and without turning said, "Please, don't touch me." She heard his swift indrawn breath, heard the pain he felt at her rejection of him.
"I'm sorry I frightened you, Nat, but this is what I am. I can't change that." Still no reaction, no reply from her. "Nat, is it so repulsive to you? I thought......I thought it didn't frighten you. In the past you've stood up against it and calmed its voracity. It's not just a predatory beast that lives within me, Nat. It's tied to every part of me, my emotions, my desires." He approached a few steps toward her. "Nat, talk to me, tell me you don't hate me.....please," he implored with a rough voice.
Nat turned her face to him and looked into his soulful, sad eyes. As she gazed at him, Nick then saw the confusion and doubt in her own.
Natalie couldn't answer. She didn't know how to reply.
"Nat, let me try again. Please? Let me show you how I feel. You'll understand then....."
Natalie saw the suppressed longing in his eyes, buried behind the guilt of rushing her tonight. How often had he turned such a look on her when begging for forgiveness, wanting her to soothe away his doubts, bolster his fading hope and faith in the wake of yet another failed attempt to find a cure. How could she make love with him? She didn't know what he was really asking of her. Was he asking her to "make love" or just fill an emptiness? So many question and so few answers. So much doubt to overcome.
Again the faces of Emily Weiss and Alyce Hunter appeared before her.
Again the jealousy and feelings of betrayal reminded Natalie of Nick's most annoying shortcoming - his attraction to women who sympathized or empathized with his feelings of exile and self-condemnation. Women who fed the self-pity. Natalie refused to join the retinue. She wouldn't share that fate. She needed more from him because he was so much more. Didn't the big goon realize that he was more than a pretty face or a good lay?
'God, why did this have to happen like this?' Natalie asked herself for the millionth time. She wasn't ready for any of this. What's happening to us? Where did the friendship go? It was there only a short time ago? She had to think. The line between friendship and romance blurred and intermingled to such a degree as to become inseparable from the other now. They were intensifying into something more, wasn't it? Or was all this just a concocted fantasy on both their parts? How can she trust this idyll? She needed to be practical.
Practicality may be the only thing left to save them both and put this romantic illusion in its place; to dissuade him as well as herself from entertaining such notions about a deeper relationship. It was self destructive if not played right. They needed to face reality right now, needed to find the reason for his outburst of libido tonight. He...he couldn't possibly be in love with her, she rationalized. She couldn't love him.
'LIAR! LIAR!" screamed her heart.
Natalie leaned against the casement of the window, watching the rain pelt against the cool panes, the rivulets of water running in haphazard directions, distorting the images of the shadowy panorama outside. She felt his eyes burning into her back, anxiously awaiting her decision. But what could she tell him? Did she have that kind of courage and strength in her heart to finally admit her feelings?
He stood there asking her to take the chance to love him. Was she ready to put everything aside and take that chance? This "love", this fascination, he claimed to have for her, was it only a guise, a ruse, a lie to be told to hold the burden of guilt at bay, to give him courage and hope to endure and reclaim his lost mortality? If it was, the blame could surely be laid at her door. She didn't deny him the illusion, even let him put her on that high pedestal. It kept the distance between them, a comfortable rift that allowed her to remain logical, rational; but that was now a moot point. "Love" now entered into the equation.
"Love" was never a rational integer. The affairs of the heart were never so delineated, nor simply calculated. There were so many obstacles to overcome, so many dangers to face. She turned again to stare at him. He was looking at her so expectantly, so like an eager boy with his eyes shining in anticipation. But this wasn't a game. The dangers were very real. The question was did she want to invite that danger, that killer lurking inside of Nick, into her bed. She was afraid, so very afraid of the consequences should she be wrong. Her fear paralyzed her. She felt so vulnerable.
Nick moved closer to her, reaching out a hand in supplication, a request to be allowed inside. Like a nervous filly, Nat retreated a step, backing into the corner. Nick's expression fell and his eyes grew large in dismay as she flinched away from him. He saw the fear, the anxiety burning in her beautiful blue eyes. He trembled as the shame took hold as a horrible realization dawned in his own.
'How could she have thought otherwise?' he surmised at long last forced to abandon his hope of loving her tonight, or ever. He was a beast, a malevolent preternatural demon in love with a creature of grace, beauty, strength, intelligence and generosity. How could he have been such a fool to think she could ever love a hideous THING as he? He needed to get out, fast. The emotions welling up within him would soon have him on his knees begging her to take him however she wanted him. He needed to leave with some dignity intact, to leave some dignity for her, as well. He did not want her to remember him or their time together with any further humiliation on either of their part. Slowly, the rivulets of blood tears trickled down his pale cheeks and he turned his face away from her to hide his anguish and shame. Nick's quivering hand fell lifelessly to his side. It was finally time to go. All hope was dead.
Natalie gasped in horror as she watched the hope die and despair rise in his eyes. Only then did she finally realize how much she could affect him, how much power she had to devastate him. Somewhere a voice whispered in her mind, his low velvety voice telling her forgotten secrets: 'Love you more than any other of my existence.....move me like no other....need you.....you're my soul, Nat....Are you afraid to try?" And her answer, "No, I'm not afraid."
Now she knew. Now it all came crashing back into her memory; all the drama, emotion, devastation, and sacrifice of Valentine's Day night. What Nick gave up to protect her. Correction: what Nick TRIED to give up to protect her.
"Stupid Lambert! STUPID!" she admonished herself out loud.
Nick whirled about sharply upon hearing Nat's vehement verbal berating. "Stupid, Nat? I'm the only one who's been an idiot, but that's soon going to change. I won't burden your life anymore. I'm leaving. I was a fool to have ever let myself fall in love with you." Without a backward glance he moved swiftly toward the balcony doors.
Natalie knew he was going to leave her before he even turned around, but the torpor invading her limbs held her immobile. Should she let him go? Did he truly understand how desperately her heart ached to love him? Maybe it was better that he depart from her life before this emotion welling up within her consumed her, leaving her bitter, lifeless, and empty. The doubt in her mind continued to rage.
He was almost to the double doors leading out to the patio. His hand reached for the knob. He would be gone soon. His hand began turning the handle. The door was opening. Natalie's heart pounded in her chest, her breathing became rapid and shallow. Nick took the first step through the open door, then another. He was going. God, he was actually going to leave her! Natalie clenched her fists, fighting the despondency, the emptiness that was rapidly filling her as the reality of her musings came upon her. She cried out as the desolation of losing him began to impede her reason. Emotion drowned logic and the walls of doubt finally caved in. She finally realized that she wasn't quite yet ready to give up. She had the power to stop him, with just two words, "I remember."
Suddenly he did stop, but then queried, "Valentine's Day?"
"Yes," replied Nat quietly.
Nick was silent for a moment as he seemed to consider an appropriate response. Then, bitter regret in his voice, he said, "It changes nothing, Nat. It's all the same in the end. How can I love you? How can I get close to you without losing control, without overwhelming you or frightening you again? Hasn't tonight proved ANYTHING to you?"
"Yes," she replied calmly, slowly approaching him. "Yes, it has, you knothead. You should know by now not to back me into a corner without warning." She smiled hesitantly, trying to gain his trust.
For a moment he stood riveted, her smile a welcome sight. He'd feared he'd pushed her too far, beyond salvaging any of their relationship. Again though, what did it matter? In the end, the result would be the same: frustration, anger, and pain. He turned and headed once more for the door.
"Dammit, NICK! I'm sorry, but you pushed too damn hard tonight! Why didn't you talk to me?! Why didn't you...." Nat's choked, as emotion overcame her and she began to cry.
Nick smashed his fist through the glass panes of the balcony door as the anger rose up, anger at the pain he'd caused her, anger at his callous treatment of her. With resolve, he declared, "I'm going. I can't bear this pain I cause anymore."
Natalie ran to the door and clutched at his shirt, "Nick, I don't want you to go. I need you to stay. I...I'm in love with you."
This time he froze, not daring to move. Oh how he wanted her, needed her, loved her. He needed to believe there was some hope. She'd called him back. He sensed her approach, felt her clutch his shirt then release it to replace it with the timorous touch of her palms as she splayed them upon his back. His muscles clinched in agonizing pleasure at the contact, but he must remain steadfast in his resolve to leave. He whirled about and then grabbed her wrists in his iron grasp as the vampire once again appeared.
"Then this is what will love you, Natalie. It will take your blood and revel in the intimacy. It's selfish. It takes and takes and gives nothing in return."
"You're not a beast, Nick," Natalie replied with aplomb, careful not stir to his anger further. "We can deal with this, we can try..."
The argument was futile. Nick threw her hands away from him and then turned and rested his forehead against the doorframe as the mist from the rain bathed his pale face and the cold wind buffeted him in its playful gusts. The elements of the night barraged his body, but he only felt the comforting warmth of the woman holding him close.
"Why can't I ever reason with you?" he sighed in resignation, knowing that once again that he did not have the strength to leave her. He didn't even know how far he'd actually have gone before turning around to come back to her. She seemed to draw him as a moth to a flame, a creature of the night in need of the warmth of the light even though death lingered near should it fly too close and burn itself in the fire.
She brought her hands around his waist, embracing him from behind, holding him against her softness. "Give me time, Nick. I need time. We need time to take things slowly." She pressed her body fully against him, as one hand caressed the planes of his back.
A nervous laugh escaped Natalie as she buried her face against him and said, "Besides, you big goon, how can I make love to you when I don't know the first thing about vampire sexuality? Why is it you always leave me guessing and fill in the details after the fact?"
Nick covered her embracing arms with his own and carefully replied with some chagrin and contrite half-smile, "I'm sorry. I got a bit ahead of myself, I suppose."
"Just a bit, eh?" prompted Nat. "Nick, can't you ever SAY something before you DO something?"
"And spoil my track record? What about my 'mysterious side'? I can't be appealing to you if you don't have a puzzle to solve, now, could I? Besides, you are a fast learner, Nat. You've always been able to..." Suddenly, Nick pulled away from her, ashamed of his behavior tonight. "But that doesn't excuse what I've done to you this evening. I should go back home..." He stepped further out into the gathering storm, the steady rain soaking his clothes. He was turning to go when he felt her warm hand again at his back.
"No," said Nat. "You're home is here...with me."
It was time to fully awaken that which lay quiescent, to give voice to her desires and finally declare what her heart already knew but kept secret for so many weeks - the love she had for this man. A very deep and passionate love. Difficult? Yes, but oh so gratifying, so consuming, so fulfilling. Nat felt whole now. Truly, Nick had come home, but the household would not be a quiet one.
Nat smiled as she looked forward to the challenge of loving one such as Nick Knight. He would be obstinate, high handed, autocratic and more, but she was ready. Her love for him made her so. For love is many things. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Above all though love must be patient. Time to grow. Time to learn. Together, regardless of the consequences and threats that may stand against them.
"Stay," she said quietly. "Stay with me."
It was enough, for now anyway he decided and needed no further bidding; Nick turned and pulled her into his arms. He held her fiercely to him. He rained kisses upon her face and finally claimed her mouth for his own. His own.....so long he had wanted this. LaCroix be damned. Nick would rather die before he separated from Natalie. She was renewing her promise to him that she made a few days before that fateful Valentine's Day; she was willing to take the chance to love him, to risk her life to love him and make love with him. But not tonight, not tonight. Their love needed patience and care. Great care, so that when the glorious day they would make love together came, Natalie would come to him without fear or doubt to plague their joining.
Natalie clutched at his shirt and pulled him closer. She opened her mouth to him, yielding him this delicious intimacy. He shivered as her tongue hesitantly sought contact with his own. Nick moaned as she gradually gained confidence in her power to arouse him, her tongue darting into his own mouth seeking to seduce a response. Nick wrapped his hands within the mass of her auburn curls and pulled her upward to increase the pressure of his lips upon her own.
Then Nick suddenly tore his lips away from her own, "I don't think I could leave you now if you begged me to. I AM staying the day with you, Nat. I want to hold you against me, feel your body next to mine. I need you with me, you see. You're my light, my hope, my love. You're the absolution I've sought for so long. Please." He pulled her close to him and picked her up, carrying his long sought angel to their bed. He was beginning to emerge from the dark pit, carefully scaling up the sheer cliffs of his prison toward the outreached hand extending from the light above - Natalie. She had entrusted to him her hope; her trust; her faith; her life; and the most precious gift of all, her love.
From a distance he stood watching them, not noticing the droplets of rain fall from his cropped hair. He did not feel its annoying effect. A smile spread over his thin lips and turned into a sneer. "Soon, Nicholas. Soon you won't be able to contain your passions. This is only the beginning, my son. You've tasted her. How long can you wait to possess her?" An evil laugh broke the serenity of the night as a menacing figure took flight to find refuge from the approaching gale blowing in with the cold winds of a winter that had not yet let loose its hold on the world.
All comments to me, Texasbrat, at:
brattytxn@hotmail.com