This story is posted under an adult header due to adult content.  It is intended for adult
audiences only.

Also, this story is based on a suggestion from feedback on an earlier story.  I refuse to
name names, though, as any good idea can lose its way between my mind and my fingers.

Permission given to archive at fkfanfic website, the FTP site and the JADFE archives.
No other permission is granted to repost/reprint/reuse.  If you're interested drop me a
line.  As always, feedback is welcomed.

This story is based on characters and situations that aren't mine.  Thanks to TPTB for
their use.

Nick Gets Creamed
by S. Clark

Nat stormed into her apartment and slammed the door.  She went to the freezer and
pulled out a pint of chocolate cherry garcia ice cream.  Next she pulled open the
dishwasher and grabbed a spoon.  And then, for good measure, returned to the fridge
and took out the can of whipped cream.  Real whipped cream, of course.  Accept no
substitutes.

She put everything on the coffee table in front of the couch.  And, after changing into
a nightie and robe, she plopped in front of the tv for a long evening of self-pity and
gratuitous food consumption.

Natalie worked out a whole protocol for consuming said ice cream.  First, she
jammed the spoon into the container and applied a liberal helping of whipped cream.
After licking off the whipped cream, she applied another liberal dollop.  Next, she ate
the ice cream.

She prescribed this treatment, self-administered, as many times as necessary until she
forgot the fact that one Nick Knight, Detective, couldn't detect the fact she'd been
wearing a new outfit.  Silk.  In just the shade of blue he always said went well with her
eyes.

But not two minutes later he did just happen to notice that one of his co-workers, a
Detective Marchell DuLoves, was not only wearing a striking new outfit.  And, he
further went on to notice that said co-worker had also lost several pounds.

Once again she stabbed the spoon into the container.  He hadn't noticed that she had
a new outfit.  He hadn't noticed before when she'd lost weight.

Her righteous-indignation-stream-of-consciousness rant was interrupted by a soft
knocking on the door.  Knowing full well there'd only be one being who'd stop by at
5 am, she ignored the door and went for another spoon of ice cream.

The knocking began again.  This time louder.

"I know you can hear me," she said in a normal tone.  "Please go away before you
wake the neighbors."

The knocking stopped.  Then returned in one last soft attempt.

Nat closed her eyes to keep in the tears and wished he would go away.  She wished
again that he would stay.  For her third wish she wished she didn't feel this way.  And,
for her fourth, she wished she'd never stop feeling this way.

She wiped away the tears on her sleeve and returned to the ice cream.  Maybe it would
make her feel better this time.  Maybe it would ease the hurt.  "To hell with
rationalizations," she said, jamming the spoon back into her mouth.  "I'm just going to
eat until I go into a sugar coma."

"You shouldn't talk with your mouth full."  The voice came from over by the balcony.

"And you shouldn't break into women's apartments," she said, not turning to look at
him.

"I was concerned about you," he said.  She could feel his presence as he moved closer
to where she sat.  "You left rather abruptly."

"My shift was over."

"But we'd talked about going out, maybe getting some videos."

"I'm tired, Nick.  Please.  Tonight.  Just go."

He sat down next to her, resting his face in his hands.  "I don't understand, Nat.
Please, tell me, what did I do?"

She took another spoon of ice cream.  "Who said you did anything?"

"I don't know.  I thought we were having a nice chat.  But you left the station at full
steam.  And I find you here crying."

"I'm not crying," she said, raising her chin.  "I'm eating."

Nick grabbed the hand holding the spoon.  "Nat, please.  Whatever I did,  I'm sorry."

"Let go, Nick."

"Not until you explain."

Nat turned and met his gaze full on.  She grabbed the whipped cream with her other
hand and sprayed a blob onto his nose.

Nick went cross-eyed trying to see the white substance perched on the end of his nose.
"What is that?" he asked, perplexed.

She smiled.  And then she started laughing.

And, in spite of himself, he started laughing, also.

Nat leaned over and took a big lick of the whipped cream.  "Tasty," she said, leaning in
for another lick.

"Nat?"

He released her hand and she put the spoon back to her mouth.  "Thanks.  Needed to
follow up with ice cream."

She dug the spoon in the container again and held it out to him.  "Want to taste?" she
asked, twirling the spoon before him.

Nick grabbed her hand to steady it and held the ice cream under his nose.  He sniffed it
and made a face.  "I don't think so."

"Too bad," she said, smearing the spoon across his cheek.  "It seems to suit you."

He continued frowning.

She put the spoon down and leaned in close to lick the ice cream from his face.  Nick
turned his head at the last moment and she met his lips, instead, with her tongue.

Nat pulled her head back, surprised.  "Nick!"

"I want a treat, too," he said, once again smiling.

She considered that statement for a moment.  "I hope you're not referring to moi."

He put a hand to her waist and slipped it within her robe.  He ran it slowly up to the
underside of her breast.  "I am indeed," he said, kissing her lightly on the forehead.
"But not in that way."

Natalie licked the remainder of the ice cream from his cheek.  "I think I like vampire
sundaes."

"Oh really?  And how does one make a vampire sundae?"

Natalie kissed him.  "Slowly," she said.

She pushed him back onto a lying position on the couch and sat on the edge near his hips.
She and ran her hands down the front of his shirt.  "First, we need to prepare the vampire."
She pulled the tails of his shirt from his pants and began unbuttoning his shirt.

After peeling the shirt back and ran her hands along his bare chest.  It was well muscled
and lightly sprinkled with blond hair. Nick smiled, enjoying the attention.

"Next, we apply some ice cream."  Natalie took the ice cream spoon and painted a stripe
of chocolate down the middle of his chest.

"Finally," she said, "we need whipped cream."  She grabbed the can again, putting a
generous glop onto the ice cream and an extra splurt on each nipple.

"Nat," he complained, "you're making a mess."

She smiled and ran a finger through the ice cream and put it up to her mouth.  She
inserted it slowly, then withdrew it.  "Mmmmm," she said, satisfied with her creation.
"Delicious."

She put the damp finger to his lips, tracing across first the top lip then the bottom.
"Too bad I can't share."

"But you are going to do something about the mess, aren't you?"

"I suppose I can do something," she said.  "Close your eyes."

He could feel her stand up from the couch.  "Nat?"

"Eyes closed," she said, her voice coming from the kitchen.

"Now?"

"Almost."  He could tell she was back beside him.  "Ready?"

Nick nodded and grinned.  But the grin quickly changed to a look of surprise as Nat
dumped a bottle of cold mineral water on his bare chest.  "Nat!" he exclaimed, jumping
up.  "What was that for?"

"I decided I wanted an ice cream soda instead."  She went to her room and closed the
door, clicking the lock into place.

"The blinds out there should be fine, by the way." she said through the door.  "I had
blackout shades installed."

"Nat?"  He looked down at the wet and runny mess that was dripping off his chest and
onto the couch.

"My bedroom shades will be open.  Enter at your own risk."

Nick closed the balcony blinds against the approaching sunrise.  He looked at the mess
left in the room, the mess soaking into his clothes, and shook his head.

He curled up on the damp couch.  The damp couch that smelled of dairy products.  And
not the kind of dairy product he'd actually consume.  He pulled his damp coat around
himself.  "If I live to a thousand," he muttered, "I will never understand women."

Nick drifted off to sleep.  He dreamt of chestnut hair, of blue eyes and of blue silk.  And
he wondered where it all went so wrong.

<fin>

Bricks (of the blond variety) and tofutti cuties may be tossed at:
<sclark@best.com>